i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
