Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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