wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
