Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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