your thong is hanging out like whoa
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
