nut hugger
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
