so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
