I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
two words...techno handjob
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
