woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was like eating out sand paper
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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