Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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