Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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