What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
