i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
