I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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