If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
