roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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