Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
