She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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