is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
