I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
