Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I FOUND THE LEGS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize