i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
