On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
