she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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