grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
