Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
