He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
