Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My breasts were aching with rage.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
