It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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