Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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