I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
