Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Soap is not a condiment
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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