there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
