Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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