Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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