Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
