what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
