toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
