Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
