dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
