Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
