My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize