Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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