um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
