honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You are the jesus of drinking
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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