So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize