why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
