He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I pour the whiskey from now on
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
