there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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