Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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