I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
