you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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