why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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