i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
