You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
