3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently you make a good broom.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
