Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
