scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
