I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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