just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
