i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
