fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
