if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
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I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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